Quotables #100: Telling Jokes

Quotables #100: Telling Jokes
Telling jokes is an essential way for people to communicate. The following are excerpts where film characters deliver (or, in some cases, try to deliver) jokes. Your job is to guess which movies they're from.
So, this snail is standing in front of the Cadillac salesman, see, and he looks up at the salesman, and he says, 'How much is that Cadillac?'...The snail says, 'I want a big S put on each door - a big S. And on top of the car, I want another big S so everybody can see it.' And then the salesman says, 'Well, what do you want that for?' The snail goes, 'Well, you see, when I drive down the avenue, I want everybody to say, 'Look at that 'S' car go.'
Movie 1:

Woman:	Do you want to hear my 'Fox Force Five' joke?
Man:	Sure. Except that I think I'm still a little too petrified to laugh.
Woman:	No, you won't laugh, 'cause it's not funny. But if you still wanna hear it, I'll tell it.
Man:	I can't wait.
Woman:	OK. Three tomatoes are walkin' down the street: Papa Tomato, Mama Tomato, and Baby Tomato. Baby Tomato starts laggin' behind, and Papa Tomato gets really angry, goes back and squishes him, and says, 'Catch up.'
Man:	Hmm hmm.
Woman:	Ketchup... See you around.
Movie 2:

Well, alright, I know one joke. Umm, there's a mollusk, see, and he walks up to a sea - well, he doesn't walk up, he swims up. But, actually, the mollusk isn't moving. He's in one place, and then the sea cucumber, well, they - I'm mixed up. There was a mollusk and a sea cucumber. None of them are walking, so forget that I said that -
Movie 3:

Man #1:	Duffy, listen to me a minute. I want to tell you a story. So, there's this guy, Walsh, ya understand. He's tired of screwin' his wife, see -
Man #2:	Jake, there's a problem -
Man #1:	Wait a second, Duffy! You're always in such a hurry. So, his friend says to him, 'Hey, whyn't you do it like the Chinese do?' So, he says, 'Well, how do the Chinese do it?' And the guy says, 'Well, the Chinese, first they screw a little bit, then they stop, and they go and read a little Confucius, come back, screw a little bit more, then they stop again, go back, and they screw a little bit more -
Man #3:	Jake!
Man #1:	Walsh, just listen to me for a second. I mean, you'll love this. Now, ahem, 'Then they go back, and they screw a little bit more, and then they go out, and they contemplate the moon or somethin' like that - makes it more exciting.' So now, the guy goes home, and he starts screwin' his own wife, see. So, he screws her for a little bit, and then he stops, and he goes out of the room, and he reads 'Life' magazine. And he goes back in, he starts screwin' again, he says, 'Excuse me for a minute, honey,' and he goes out, and he smokes a cigarette. Now, his wife is gettin' sore as hell. He comes back in the room, he starts screwin' again, he gets up to start to leave again to go look at the moon, she looks at him and says, 'Hey! What's the matter with ya?! You're screwin' just like a Chinaman!' Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Jesus! That Barney!
Movie 4:

Man #1:	Here's a joke, boy. One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof into the backyard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to shit, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day, the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the fuck's your problem?'
Man #2:	That's messed up. That wasn't funny.
Man #1:	Then why are you cackling like a jackal?
Man #2:	I dunno.
Man #1:	Figure that joke out, and you'll figure the streets out.
Movie 5: