My 2003 Film Awards
By Nareg Torosian
“Mystic River”
In his best directorial outing since “Unforgiven,” Clint Eastwood
delivers a drama of gripping power. Like Atom Egoyan’s “The
Sweet Hereafter,” it uses a small town’s tragedy – in
this case, the murder of a teenage girl – as a springboard to the
lives, wants, and dreams of a handful of characters. Brian Helgeland’s
impressive script, based on Dennis Lehane’s novel, is equal parts
murder mystery, police procedural, character study, Shakespearean tragedy,
and Greek drama.
Runner-up: “American Splendor”
Who would’ve thought that the best film of the year adapted from
a comic book would be about an ordinary middle-aged guy from Cleveland?
Harvey Pekar’s life story gets the gloss-less independent film treatment,
and the result is, well, splendorous.
Honorable Mentions: “Lost in
Translation,” Sofia Coppola’s bittersweet
tale of culture shock, friendship, and homesickness; Pixar’s “Finding
Nemo,” the best animated film of the year; and “21
Grams,” Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu’s powerful
rumination on fate.
“The Fog of War”
2003 was a fantastic year for documentaries, and this was the best of
them. Legendary filmmaker Errol Morris (“Gates of Heaven”
& “The Thin Blue Line”) sat down with former Defense Secretary
Robert McNamara, who opened up about the U.S.’s involvement in WWII
and Vietnam. Made with Morris’ trademark visual style and with another
fantastic score from frequent collaborator Philip Glass, this is an utterly
fascinating film from start to finish.
Runner-up: “Capturing the Friedmans”
When well-liked schoolteacher Arnold Friedman and his son Jesse were arrested
on child molestation charges in November 1987, the community of Great
Neck, NY, was aghast. And though the police found a sizable collection
of child pornography in the Friedman home, the testimony against the family
didn’t match up, and some began to wonder just how much merit the
criminal charges had. First-time documentarian Andrew Jarecki was there
to chronicle this strange saga, and allows the viewer to decide the Friedmans’
guilt or innocence. An intriguing meditation on the breakdown of the American
family and the elusive nature of truth.
Honorable Mentions: “Spellbound,”
a thrilling and humorous look at the young competitors of a National Spelling
Bee championship; the indescribably beautiful “Winged
Migration,” a narration-free doc that follows a
series of birds in flight; “Bus
174,” a harrowing account of the social conditions
in Rio de Janeiro that led to an armed siege on a city bus in June of
2000; and “Stevie,”
Steve James’s (“Hoop Dreams”) heartbreaking search for
an inner-city youth he mentored in a Big Brother program.
Sean Penn – “Mystic River”
& “21 Grams” In one of the finest years an
actor can have, Penn had the opportunity to play two painfully wounded
but otherwise completely opposite characters: one a Boston ex-con who
must deal with his daughter’s murder, his inner demons, and his
thirst for retribution (“Mystic River”); the other a college
math professor who receives a heart transplant and begins to think about
his mortality and the life of his donor (“21 Grams”). Penn’s
been long overdue for an Oscar – here’s the perfect time to
make amends.
Runner-up: Tim Robbins – “Mystic
River” Nearly all the press on “Mystic River”
praised Sean Penn and made it seem as if he were the lead character in
the film’s ensemble. But if there’s anyone who can be called
a “main character” in “Mystic,” it’s Robbins,
and his powerful portrayal of a man who harbors the wounds of sexual abuse
he endured as a child is his best ever. If it weren’t for Penn’s
second role in “21 Grams,” I’d give the award to Robbins.
Honorable Mentions: Bill Murray,
sad and nuanced in a career-defining role in “Lost in Translation”;
Paul Giamatti, tackling
the soul of comic book creator and hospital clerk Harvey Pekar in “American
Splendor”; Peter Dinklage,
proving that great things can come in small packages in “The
Station Agent”; Chiwetel
Ejiofor, making an auspicious English-language debut in
“Dirty Pretty Things”; Billy
Bob Thornton, for using the word “fuckstick”
and never betraying his character in “Bad Santa”;
Ben Kingsley, for his
headstrong Iranian general in “House of Sand and Fog”; Philip
Seymour Hoffman, for his astounding portrayal of compulsive
gambling in “Owning Mahowny”;
Campbell Scott, who
slowly burns as he tries to cope with “The Secret Lives
of Dentists”; Nick Nolte,
showing his vulnerability and versatility as “The Good Thief”;
William H. Macy, as
the losingest loser this side of Loserville in “The Cooler”;
Paddy Considine, funny
and sensitive as the patriarch of the Irish immigrant family trying to
make it “In America”; force of nature Jack
Black, delivering an uproarious performance in the tailor-made
“The School of Rock”; and Jack
Nicholson, for combining his “Jack” persona
with his real-life mortality issues in “Something’s
Gotta Give.”
Charlize Theron – “Monster”
Nothing in Theron’s filmography (“2 Days in the Valley,”
“Sweet November,” “The Italian Job”) hinted at
the awesome performance she would give in this movie. A la Robert De Niro
in “Raging Bull,” Theron gained 30 pounds and went full Method
to play Aileen Wuornos, the first female serial killer convicted in the
United States. Theron is able to gain the empathy of the audience (not
its sympathy, which is a huge difference) even though she commits horrendous
actions. It’s the performance to beat for the new millennium.
Runner-up: Hope Davis – “American
Splendor” & “The Secret Lives of Dentists”
Exuding a cerebral sexuality not seen since Diane Keaton in the 1970’s,
Davis showed remarkable range in these two performances. First, she played
a flirtatious, philandering ex-opera singer in “The Secret Lives
of Dentists,” and then she embodied the looks and mannerisms of
the neurotic Joyce Brabner in “American Splendor.” Davis may
have had more exposure as Jack Nicholson’s daughter in last year’s
“About Schmidt,” but this was her breakthrough year.
Honorable Mentions: Scarlett Johansson,
as a newlywed in Tokyo who feels “Lost in Translation”
and as the servant who became the subject of Vermeer’s painting
“Girl With a Pearl Earring”; Naomi
Watts, powerful as an ex-drug addict trying to stay that
way in “21 Grams”; Evan
Rachel Wood for showing the dangers involved in turning
“Thirteen”; Keisha
Castle-Hughes, delivering one of the greatest performances
by a child actor in the sleeper “Whale Rider”;
Samantha Morton, finally
given a leading role as the matriarch of an Irish immigrant family struggling
“In America”; Jennifer
Connelly for her hopeless addict in “House
of Sand and Fog”; Cate
Blanchett, proving you can still deliver a great performance
in a crappy (“The Missing”) or misguided
(“Veronica Guerin”) movie; Frances
McDormand, totally convincing in her sexiness in “Laurel
Canyon”; Charlotte Rampling,
for her socially repressed mystery novel writer in “Swimming
Pool”; Jamie Lee Curtis,
delivering a splendid comedic performance in “Freaky Friday”;
Diane Keaton for her
best role in years in “Something’s Gotta Give”;
Rachel Weisz, as the
manipulative girlfriend with ulterior motives in “The Shape
of Things”; and Uma
Thurman in the best female action movie performance since
Sigourney Weaver in “Aliens” in “Kill Bill:
Vol. 1.”
Alec Baldwin – “The Cooler”
Playing the best movie villain since Ben Kingsley’s Don Logan in
“Sexy Beast,” Baldwin is astounding as an old-school casino
boss who chews out William H. Macy after his luck begins to change. He
hasn’t made this big an impact in a motion picture since his walk-on
in “Glengarry Glen Ross.”
Runner-up: Benicio Del Toro – “21
Grams” He’s been relatively quiet since winning
a Best Supporting Actor Oscar for “Traffic” three years ago,
but expect Del Toro to gain serious buzz this year for his ex-con turned
born-again Christian in “21 Grams.” Combining his smoldering
sexuality with surprising vulnerability, Del Toro proves once again he’s
the closest thing we have to a young Marlon Brando.
Honorable Mentions: Paul Bettany
as the man of science who acts as complement and foil to Russell Crowe
in “Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World”;
Peter Sarsgaard, playing
the probing “New Republic” editor who finds the truth about
one of his writers in “Shattered Glass”;
William H. Macy, hilarious
as racing commentator “Tick Tock” McLaughlin in “Seabiscuit”;
Kevin Bacon & Laurence
Fishburne, making a great investigative team in “Mystic
River”; relative newcomer Toby
Eulick, magnetic as a troubled teen in “Mystic
River”; Chris Cooper
& Jeff Bridges for
their solid supporting work in “Seabiscuit”;
Dustin Hoffman, menacing
as the gum-chewing, ADD-afflicted porn kingpin in “Confidence”;
Ken Watanabe, the best
reason to see “The Last Samurai”; Judah
Friedlander for getting the mannerisms of Toby Radloff
down pat in “American Splendor”; Djimon
Honsou finally given some real acting to do as an artist
dying of AIDS “In America”; Bill
Nighy for his scene-stealing work as the aging rocker
in “Love Actually”; Rawiri
Paratene, as the staunch patriarch who refuses his granddaughter’s
stake to his tribe’s leadership in “Whale Rider”;
and Malcolm McDowell,
perfect as the mentor of a Chicago ballet company in “The
Company.”
Patricia Clarkson – “The
Station Agent” & “Pieces of April”
Clarkson is a familiar face to any fan of indie cinema, and she continues
to amaze with the grace, humor, and emotional depth she brings to each
part. This past year she played two characters who dealt with their traumas
in radically different ways: her divorcee grieving the death of her son
in “The Station Agent” looks for emotional connections with
people, while her cancer-stricken mother in “Pieces of April”
laughs everything off and makes jokes at other people’s expense.
If you don’t yet know who she is, now’s a great time to learn.
Runner-up: Shohreh Aghdashloo – “House
of Sand and Fog” Making her stateside debut, Iranian
actress Aghdashloo is fabulous as the open-hearted wife of Ben Kingsley’s
proud Iranian official. It’s one of the few times someone of ethnic
origin was chosen to play someone of ethnic origin, and that authenticity
helps the character immensely.
Honorable Mentions: Holly Hunter
in another Oscar-worthy performance as the clueless mother in “Thirteen”;
Geraldine McEwen, vile
and villainous as the sadistic head nun in “The Magdalene
Sisters”; Marcia Gay
Harden for showing amazing range as a terrified housewife
in “Mystic River” and an outspoken potential
foster mother in “Casa de Los Babys”; Maria
Bello, proving she’s much more than a pretty face in “The
Cooler”; Melissa Leo
for her heart-wrenching performance in “21
Grams”; Nikki Reed,
adeptly playing the girl mom told you to avoid in “Thirteen”;
the strikingly sexy Ludivine Sagnier
as the cryptic temptress in “Swimming Pool”;
Christina Ricci, combining innocence and dread in a manner
far beyond her years in “Monster”; Frances
McDormand for her scene-stealing work in “Something’s
Gotta Give”; twenty-something Alison
Lohman, playing a wide-eyed 14-year-old in “Matchstick
Men”; and three actresses who stop the show in single scenes:
Laura Linney for her Ophelia-like monologue in “Mystic
River”; Natalie Portman for her grieving
war widow in “Cold Mountain”; and Susan
Lynch for her highly emotional soliloquy about the child she
lost in “Casa De Los Babys.”
Shari Springer Berman & Robert Pulcini
– “American Splendor” This married writer/director
team made a remarkable debut in feature films with “American Splendor,”
combining elements of live action with animation, documentary, and dramatic
reenactment – they even had their actors interact with the real-life
people they were playing. Like their friend Terry Zwigoff, Berman and
Pulcini started as documentary filmmakers and were interested in loners,
outcasts, and comic books. With this film, they have successfully combined
all of their interests to make one of the most unconventional biopics
ever.
Runner-up: Sofia Coppola – “Lost
in Translation” An assured and nearly perfect piece
of filmmaking, “Lost in Translation” marks the arrival of
Coppola as a serious artistic talent. Using a bleached-out color scheme
and mostly static shots, Coppola is able to communicate the feelings of
her characters without having them utter a word.
Honorable Mentions: Clint Easwood,
showing what old-fashioned filmmaking is all about in “Mystic
River”; Quentin Tarantino
for his brilliant, bloody ballet “Kill Bill: Vol. 1”;
Michael & Mark Polish
for the stately, beautiful “Northfork”; Alejandro
Gonzalez Inarritu, putting his fractured narrative to good use
in “21 Grams”; Gus
Van Sant for having the guts to objectively restage the
Columbine massacre in “Elephant”; Jason
Lin for a blazing tour-de-force in “Better
Luck Tomorrow”; Stephen
Frears, who returned to his British social commentary
films for “Dirty Pretty Things”; Robert
Altman, continuing his adeptness at handling big casts
in “The Company”; and Danny
Boyle for rejuvenating the zombie flick with “28
Days Later.”
“Mystic River”
Each member of the principal and supporting casts is perfect, hitting
all the right notes while never straining to gain the proper feelings
from the audience. Sean Penn, Tim Robbins, and Kevin Bacon all hit personal
highs here, and Marcia Gay Harden, Laurence Fishburne, Laura Linney, and
Toby Eulick do more with their small scenes than most actors do for a
film’s full running time. And bonus points go to Clint Eastwood’s
old friend Eli Wallach for his unbilled cameo.
Runner-up: The cast
of “21 Grams,”
which serves as an acting showcase for Sean Penn, Naomi Watts, and Benicio
Del Toro. But don’t forget the fantastic supporting work from up-and-comers
Melissa Leo, Clea DuVall, and Danny Huston.
Honorable Mentions:
The cast of “The Station Agent”
delivers such rich performances that you feel like you know the characters
by the time the film is over; “Love
Actually,” a great collection of actors from both
sides of the Atlantic; “In America”
had a wonderful cast that made the well-trod material seem fresh; and
the superb women of John Sayles’ “Casa
de Los Babys.”
“Masked and Anonymous”
The film community was abuzz when it heard that Bob Dylan was going to
appear in his first film since “Pat Garrett and Billy the Kid.”
But when it had its premiere at the Sundance Film Festival, the film community
was aghast – all but a handful of journalists walked out of the
film. This lifeless, pointless lump of a film was “directed”
by “Seinfeld” co-creator Larry Charles, but worse still, it
wasted the considerable talents of its cast – John Goodman, Jeff
Bridges, Jessica Lange, Penelope Cruz, Luke Wilson, Angela Bassett, Laura
Elena Harring, Bruce Dern, Ed Harris, Cheech Marin, Mickey Rourke, Christian
Slater, Val Kilmer, and Giovanni Ribisi – all of whom probably jumped
at the opportunity to star alongside Mr. Tambourine Man himself. Too bad
nobody told them beforehand it was a piece of shit.
Runner-up: “Mona Lisa Smile”
I speak not of Julia Roberts (who, let’s face it, is a movie star
and not an actress), but this facile, patronizing, and insulting piece
of dreck wasted the likes of Marcia Gay Harden, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Kirsten
Dunst, and Julia Stiles, all of whom deserve much better.
Dishonorable Mentions: “Levity,”
a nonsensical drama that did not live up to its title, taking Morgan Freeman,
Holly Hunter, Billy Bob Thornton, and Kirsten Dunst down with the ship;
“Identity”
for trapping its A-list cast in a Z-grade thriller; and “Cold
Creek Manor,” reducing Dennis Quaid, Sharon Stone,
and Juliette Lewis to a haunted house movie.
“Cold Mountain”
You may hear me complain about how mainstream films pander to the lowest
common denominator to make the most money, but equally bad are films like
this that surround themselves with historical backdrops and literary pedigree
to win the most awards. This one’s got all the Oscar trappings:
non-American leads speaking in Southern accents (Nicole Kidman and Jude
Law); an independent, sassy, good-ol’ girl (Renee Zellweger, in
one of the most wretched, overwrought performances ever); a Civil War
setting; high-profile cameos; a historical novel as its source material
that’s also based on Homer’s “The Odyssey” (pretentiousness
always racks up extra points with the judges); and a supposed romance
that generates as much heat as an Eskimo pie. If there ever were a film
engineered to win a Best Picture Oscar, this would be it.
Runner-up: “Master and Commander:
The Far Side of the World” So they spent $130 million
to build the authentic ships and costumes. Too bad there wasn’t
enough money left over for a plot.
Dishonorable Mentions: “Seabiscuit,”
which not only asked us to sympathize with a horse but poured on sentimentality
so thick that it would make Frank Capra vomit; the implausible and overly
pretentious “House of Sand and
Fog” gave us archetypes instead of characters; Gus
Van Sant’s “Gerry,”
perhaps the only movie this year even more pretentious than “House
of Sand of Fog;” and the pointless 1960’s romantic comedy
rehash “Down With Love.”
“Northfork”
Wrongly dismissed by some critics as being empty and self-important, “Northfork”
is a visionary film that demands repeat viewings. Through their complex
narrative that involves a group of land barons (led by James Woods and
Mark Polish), a preacher (Nick Nolte), a wounded boy with curious visions
(Duel Farnes), and a quartet of strangers who may or may not be angels
(Daryl Hannah and Anthony Edwards among them), filmmaking twin brothers
Michael and Mark Polish comment on life, death, religion, faith, and the
American Dream. And M. David Mullen’s cinematography is far and
away the best of the year.
Runner-up: “Better Luck Tomorrow”
Released last March in conjunction with MTV Films (the same team that
brought us “Election”), this outstanding sleeper from young
director Jason Lin tells the story of a group of suburban, straight-A,
Asian-American high school students who begin a life of crime by selling
cheat sheets…and wind up selling drugs and even getting involved
in murder. One part “American Beauty,” two parts “Chan
Is Missing,” and three parts “GoodFellas,” this will
definitely get a second chance on DVD.
Honorable Mentions: Neil
Jordan’s “The Good Thief,”
a stylish homage to French gangster movies with an arresting performance
by Nick Nolte; “Owning Mahowny,”
one of the best looks at compulsive gambling ever put on film; and the
Brian Helgeland-scripted “Dark
Blue,” which takes a look at the social environment
around the L.A. riots in the 1990’s.
The end of “Hulk”
What the fuck was that all about?
Runner-up: Trinity and Neo shacking up in
“The Matrix Reloaded” Never mind “Hulk”
– could someone explain this to me?
Quasi-honorable Mentions:
Gilmore girl Lauren Graham shrieking “Fuck me, Santa!”
in Billy Bob Thornton’s car in “Bad Santa”;
using the Asian babysitter as a raft in “The
Cat in the Hat”; the morgue
scene in “Gigli”; and anything
involving Morgan Freeman’s eyebrows in “Dreamcatcher.”
Ellen DeGeneres - “Finding Nemo”
Lending her voice to Dora, a blue tang fish with a serious short term
memory problem, DeGeneres is pitch-perfect, running a gamut of emotions
and remaining likable even during her annoying (to Marlin, anyway) spells
of forgetfulness. It’s one of the best vocal characterizations in
animated film history.
Runner-up: David Carradine - “Kill
Bill: Vol. 1” You don’t need to see Bill to
know what a bad-ass he is – just listen to the man from “Kung
Fu” and his viper-smooth voice.
Honorable Mention: Keifer Sutherland,
continuing to make screaming an art form as the sniper that’s heard
but never seen in “Phone Booth.”
Christopher Walken - “Gigli”
Sometimes an appearance by a famous actor can make even the worst of films
bearable, and Walken’s five-minute walk-on ensures that “Gigli”
is not a complete waste of time.
Runner-up: Peter Dinklage - “Elf”
The star of “The Station Agent” and previously best known
for playing Tito in the hilarious cult indie “Living in Oblivion,”
the four-foot-five-inch Dinklage made a lasting impression in his first
mainstream movie.
Honorable Mention: Arnold Schwarzenegger,
who in a single scene, passed the Hollywood action hero torch to The Rock
in “The Rundown.”
“Kill Bill: Vol. 1”
Quentin Tarantino knows how to stage a fight sequence – no strings,
no CGI, and no guns. Just two people in close quarters with sharp, handheld
instruments. Oh, and they have to bleed. A lot.
Runner-up: “The Italian Job”
Fast cars, slick stuntwork, cool European locations, one-dimensional acting
(courtesy Mark Wahlberg and Jason Statham), the token hot chick (Charlize
Theron), and the always valued comic relief (thanks to Seth Green and
Mos Def). What’s not to like?
Honorable Mentions: “Terminator
3: Rise of the Machines,” which proved that James
Cameron was not necessary to make a solid action movie; “X2:
X-Men United,” a marked improvement on the dull,
exposition-laden original; and “The
Rundown,” solidifying The Rock as Hollywood’s
next action hero.
“Love Actually”
Richard Curtis, the scribe of “Four Weddings and a Funeral,”
“Notting Hill,” and “Bridget Jones’s Diary,”
took a hand at directing, and the result is highly satisfying. This is
one of the few romantic comedies that earns the descriptions “romantic”
and “comedy” – and that says a lot nowadays.
Runner-up: “Something’s
Gotta Give” Diane Keaton must pick Jack Nicholson
or Keanu Reeves, but either way, Keaton is the winner – she hasn’t
had a role this good in years.
Honorable Mentions: “Under the
Tuscan Sun,” which survives its age-old formula
thanks to Diane Lane; and “Calendar
Girls,” a charming female take on “The Full
Monty.”
“The Cat in the Hat”
When they released “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” two years
ago, Dr. Seuss rolled over in his grave. Now we can take comfort in the
fact that he’s right side up again.
Runner-up: “Bad Boys II”
A pointless, witless, overlong, homophobic, misogynistic, clichéd
cop-buddy sequel produced by – surprise! – Jerry Bruckheimer.
Peter Travers of “Rolling Stone” was dead-on when he gave
the film a no-star rating and called it “the cinematic equivalent
of toxic waste.”
Dishonorable Mentions:
The totally unnecessary remake of “The
Texas Chainsaw Massacre”; “Freddy vs. Jason,”
yet another installment (or is it two?) of the most dispensable movie franchise(s) in history;
and two flicks made by one-time great directors who probably just needed the money: “2 Fast 2 Furious,”
overseen by John Singleton (“Boyz N the Hood”), and “Cold Creek Manor,”
perpetrated by Mike Figgis (“Leaving Las Vegas”).
“The Matrix Reloaded” & “The Matrix Revolutions”
True, the Wachowski brothers painted themselves in a corner
with “The Matrix” – the fact that the film became a
cultural phenomenon is hardly their fault – but couldn’t they
stop for a minute and realize what a shitty trilogy they were making?
The Wachowskis became the tragic victims of George Lucas Syndrome: They
began to take their mythology so seriously that they forgot to make an
exciting movie.
Runner-up: “Intolerable Cruelty”
It’s hard to imagine and even harder to comprehend, but the Coen
brothers (“Fargo,” “Raising Arizona”) have gone
mainstream. For the first time, the filmmaking duo shared a screenwriting
credit with three other scribes, and it is obvious to tell who wrote what.
There are brilliant Coensian moments, but the movie collapses under the
weight of the Hollywood fluff that surrounds them.
Dishonorable Mentions:
Ron Howard’s eagerly anticipated “The
Missing” proved that there’s no way (or reason)
to make a politically correct western; “Sylvia,”
the glossy and overly sanitized look at Sylvia Plath's life; and Jane
Campion’s muddled sexual thriller “In
the Cut.”
Feature-length sitcoms
If you want easy jokes and life’s complicated problems to be solved
within minutes, save your $8.50 and watch “Everybody Loves Raymond.”
Don’t waste your money on annoying, predictable claptrap like “Uptown
Girls,” “The Fighting Temptations,” “Love Don’t
Cost a Thing,” and any film that has reduced the likes of Eddie
Murphy (“Daddy Day Care,” “The Haunted Mansion”)
and Steve Martin (“Bringing Down the House,” “Cheaper
by the Dozen”) to sappy sitcom dads.
Runner-up: Is there a reason
why epic films are still
being made? Why, to win awards, of course! And to stroke egos! Why else
would massive endeavors like “Gods and Generals,” “Master
and Commander,” “The Last Samurai,” and “Cold
Mountain” be made in the first place?
Dishonorable Mentions: B-rate comic
book adaptations like “Daredevil,” “Hulk,”
and “The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen”; and mainstream
films that think retro trappings alone
will give them artistic credibility (“Down With
Love” & “Mona Lisa Smile”).
Niki Caro – “Whale Rider”
Though she herself is not Maori, New Zealand native Caro brought an authenticity
to her story of an adolescent Maori girl who must battle prejudice to
stake her claim as leader of her tribe. Caro uses underwater cinematography
and mystic symbolism to the utmost advantage, and she obtained uniformly
excellent performances from her cast of unprofessional actors.
Runner-up: Patty Jenkins – “Monster”
This movie was in limbo for a number of months because no film studio
wanted to release it. Then again, a movie that features a real-life female
serial killer as its protagonist is a tough sell. But when the small Newmarket
Films company decided to select it for distribution, Jenkins’ powerful
and unflinching film thankfully made it to the silver screen.
Honorable Mentions:
Well-respected production designer Catherine
Hardwicke displayed all the tricks she learned from her
former employers in “Thirteen”; Wayne
Kramer for “The Cooler,” an abstract fairy tale of love, luck, and loss; John
Malkovich for making the suitably slow-paced and cryptic “The Dancer Upstairs”;
and Matt
Dillon for traveling to Cambodia in search of the “City of Ghosts.”
“Pirates of the Caribbean: The
Curse of the Black Pearl” A Jerry Bruckheimer-produced
action movie based on a theme park ride, for Christ’s sake, not
only made a boatload of money but proved to be one of the most entertaining
films of the year. I wouldn’t mind seeing more swashbucklers gracing
the silver screen.
Runner-up: The structure
of “Holes,”
Andrew Davis’s (“The Fugitive”) screen adaptation of
the Louis Sachar Newberry Award-winning book, was described by “The
Onion” as a “collaboration between Atom Egoyan and the Nickelodeon
network.” It’s an excellent description of this odd and surprisingly
complex movie that was aimed at adolescents but will be more appreciated
by older folks.
Honorable Mentions: “Terminator
3” was a lot better than anyone expected it to be;
“Bend It Like Beckham” got so much good word-of-mouth advertising that it was
still playing in theaters when its DVD was released in stores;
and Bridget Fonda married Danny Elfman!
“Freaky Friday”
The original 1976 Disney film starring Barbara Harris and Jodie Foster
was not a classic by any stretch, but there were plenty of ways an updated
version could have gone wrong. (“Flubber,” anyone?) Luckily,
this remake sidestepped any problems and built its own comic rhythm, making
an inspired comedic showcase for Jamie Lee Curtis and Lindsay Lohan.
Runner-up: “The Italian Job”
just about matched the original 1969 British classic and even used the
same Mini Cooper cars to boot.
Honorable Mention: “S.W.A.T.,”
an uncharacteristically realistic action movie (to some degree, anyway)
based on the nearly forgotten 70’s TV series of the same name.
“The Texas Chainsaw Massacre”
The original “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (1974) was a masterpiece
of both low-budget and horror filmmaking. It knew how to shock its audience
without being too grisly (there’s considerably less on-screen violence
than most people think), but most importantly, it made you care for its
characters. All of these guidelines were thrown to the wind when they
decided to remake it, and this version is pointless, has no entertainment
value, and worst of all, falls into the trappings of a cheap 1980’s
horror flick. What a waste of film.
Runner-up: “Johnny English”
is the umpteenth try to create a Bond spoof that will somehow be as memorable
as an installment from the Methuselah of all film franchises, but like
most of them, it fails miserably. Is it just me, or has the slapstick
comedy finally run its course? Rowan Atkinson should know better.
Dishonorable Mention: The
poorly conceived film adaptation of the landmark British mini-series “The
Singing Detective.”
“Lord of the Rings: The Return
of the King” Though the final installment of the
“LOTR” trilogy still had the same problems that plagued the
other films (yeah, I really don’t like fantasy films) AND had at
least six endings too many, it was still a good way to end what will be
the most lucrative film franchise in history.
Runner-up: “Terminator 3: Rise of the
Machines” for reasons I have already mentioned.
Honorable Mentions: “X-2: X-Men
United,” or as I call it, the “X-Men”
movie with action in it; “American
Wedding,” which was, despite what many critics said,
a very funny movie; and “Once
Upon a Time in Mexico,” which still wasn’t
as good as “El Mariachi” but was miles better than “Desperado.”
“The Matrix Reloaded” &
“The Matrix Revolutions” I don’t need
to explain this any further.
Runner-up: “Legally Blonde 2: Red,
White, and Blonde” The first film was cute and breezy
and proved that Reese Witherspoon’s pluck could carry a feature
film. This unnecessary sequel, however, has such a ludicrous setup and
obvious conclusion that it ceases to be entertainment and turns into the
cinematic equivalent of rotten cotton candy.
Dishonorable Mentions: “2 Fast
2 Furious,” a movie vehicle for…lots of vehicles,
and the craptacular “Jeepers
Creepers 2.”
Cuba Gooding, Jr. – “Boat Trip,” “The
Fighting Temptations” & “Radio” Ever since
Gooding, Jr. (“Jerry Maguire”) stole William H. Macy’s
(“Fargo”) Best Supporting Actor Oscar six years ago, I’ve
been wary of this actor, whose greatest contribution to cinema was “Show
me the money!” Now I have another reason to complain: This inhumanly
upbeat individual starred in three pieces of sitcom pap that shouldn’t
have left the preproduction stages.
Runner-up: Ashton Kutcher – “Just
Married,” “My Boss’ Daughter” & “Cheaper
by the Dozen” Dude, you’re going to be Kelso
for life.
Dishonorable Mentions: Brittany Murphy,
contorting her freakish clown face in vain attempts to be funny in “Just
Married” and “Uptown Girls”;
the precociously annoying Dakota Fanning
from “Uptown Girls” and “The
Cat in the Hat”; the emotionless and monotone mannequin
who calls himself Edward Burns and
played the lead in “Confidence”; and the
once-funny Eddie Murphy
continues his critical slide with “Daddy Day Care”
and “The Haunted Mansion.”
“A Mighty Wind”
Christopher Guest’s pointed mockumentary of the folk music scene
delivered plenty of belly laughs and an inspired soundtrack, but the scenes
between Catherine O’Hara and Eugene Levy break the film’s
comic tone and belong in a totally different movie.
Runner-up: “Hulk”
had some pretty impressive acting by Jennifer Connelly, Nick Nolte, and
Sam Elliott. Now, if they had just gotten rid of the Hulk, Ang Lee might
have had a movie.
Quasi-honorable Mentions: “Out
of Time,” director Carl Franklin’s reunion
with Denzel Washington would be a nifty thriller if it weren’t so
ridden with loopholes; “Open
Range,” Kevin Costner’s surprisingly good
return to the director’s chair had great Old West trappings but
an unnecessary romantic subplot; and Jane Campion’s “In
the Cut,” which was marred by a muddled script and
nonsensical ice skating flashbacks.
“Identity”
Oddly enough, I saw the trailer for this movie when I went to see “Adaptation,”
and for a long time I thought it was a joke trailer. After all, it looked
exactly like the kind of overblown crap Donald Kaufman wrote in the film.
But, indeed, the film was real and just as silly as it promised. Will
“The 3” be far behind?
Runner-up: “The Core”
The scene where the brilliant scientists give a presentation to the U.S.
government to signal the devastation that would befall the earth (it involves
a laser and a peach) is reason alone to make it a Blockbuster night.
Quasi-honorable Mention: “Timeline,”
which had to use time travel to justify the use of a trebuchet.
“The Cat in the Hat”
Why?! In the name of all that is good and right in the world, why?!
Runner-up: “Daddy Day Care”
in which Eddie Murphy once again plays second fiddle to jokes about bodily
functions.
Dishonorable Mentions: “National
Security,” the limp buddy-cop movie that paired
Martin Lawrence and Steve Zahn; and three superficial flicks aimed at
the teeny bopper crowd: “What
a Girl Wants,” “The Lizzie McGuire Movie,”
and “Uptown Girls.”
Quentin Tarantino Taking
a six-year break after making “Jackie Brown,” Tarantino returned
with a vengeance with “Kill Bill: Vol. 1”
and picked up where he left off – as the coolest director on the
planet.
Runner-up: Jim Carrey, comedian
He didn’t have a hit in years, so Carrey returned to his rubber-faced
roots and gave one of his best comedic performances in a long time in
“Bruce Almighty.”
Honorable Mentions:
Two actors who took breaks from directing and returned to the front of
the lens: Diane Keaton
(“Something’s Gotta Give”) and Tim
Robbins (“Mystic River”).
Ben Affleck – “Daredevil,” “Gigli”
& “Paycheck” He proved he could act in “Changing
Lanes,” but Affleck forwent any good parts that were offered to
him and stuck with the role he knew best: mediocrity.
Runner-up: Adam Sandler, idiot manchild
Paul Thomas Anderson’s brilliant “Punch-Drunk Love”
allowed Sandler to add comedic and dramatic depth to his on-screen persona.
But instead of pursuing those avenues further, he regressed to the puerile
idiocy and treacly sentimentality his blockheaded fans have come to know
and love in “Anger Management.”
Dishonorable Mentions: Angelina Jolie
for “Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Circle of Life”
and the insultingly self-important “Beyond Borders”;
Vin Diesel for trying
to rejuvenate his career in “A Man Apart”; the increasingly smug
Kevin Spacey, making
a huge mistake by appearing in “The Life of David Gale”;
and two “Pulp Fiction” alumni who still haven’t found
their bearings: John Travolta
(“Basic”) and Bruce
Willis (“Tears of the Sun”).
And that’s a wrap! If you’ve made it this far, you can send all
praise, questions, comments, and hate mail directly to me.
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